My soul yearns for my own portion of snow, and bare branches embracing white, and I miss the happy chirps of birds feeding on fresh snowy garden floors, and crystalline air and fluffy clomps drifting down form a moonlight sky and it seems only yesterday that I were out shivering as I watched the first snow fall in the quiet garden.
Isn't it interesting how we see life sometimes... or most of the times? I mean when we lived up north in the house in the roses, winter was not my favorite time of year. Sunless wintery days made me feel terribly blue, and I complained about most everything from having to get up early in those dark winter days to have to drive on wintery slippery roads. And now that I don't have that, I dream of snow and cozy snowy days...
Life certainly looks better, and prettier, and healthier, and more peaceful and more romantic when seen from afar. Does it not? But once you get to live the things you dream of, they're not the same any more.... they are not exactly how you had pictured them or imagined them to be.
I don't feel totally rooted here, and I miss my home in the roses terribly and yearn for everything that was, and is, so very dear to me with every bit of myself. And there are so many things about life I fear... so many scary thoughts I don't even dare mention, or express... I tent to dwell on the negative sometimes. Today, on talking with someone very dear to me about some of these things, he said to me: "If you pay too much attention to the darkness, how could you possibly find the light?" Such wisdom coming from such young soul.... ah yes, I should train myself to focus on thoughts that will move me forward in the right direction.
I shall uncover happiness in my own magical forest... let my spirit limitless be; fly in the freedom of the birds and the staccato taps of rain....
I shall I shall be free.
Too much thinking and analyzing just makes any problem worse. I know
this for a fact. Today as any other day is a wonderful day; a new
blessing, a new beginning – we shall life in the present. And
be thankful for it.
Happy New Year my friend~
I am learning to live in the present. I have good and bad memories of the past, but it is the now that we must live in and treasure what we have. So often we can lose the things we love in the blink of an eye. Growing up I lived in seventeen different homes and not by choice. My parents would not stay in one place too long. Since I have been married we have lived in two homes in the past 37 years and I still cannot call them Home really. Our true home is ourselves and that no one can take away. I hope you find peace and happiness this year.
ReplyDeleteThank you Betty....
DeleteHappy New Year, Cielo, as you learn to live in your New World and New Surroundings. The one thing that remains constant is your beautiful "old soul". Blessings- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteAnd to you... joy, peace, hope and many glorious hours....
DeleteCielo
It is probably that you are not yet in your own home, so you cannot root yourself and make plans so much, you are walking lightly in your space and it feels fragile.
ReplyDeleteI too crave the cooler weather and a bit of snow that doesn't turn to ice but melts cleanly. But when I lived in New York it was a city that doesn't do well in snow. I crave the cooler weather, but the quiet of the woods.
I agree about not worrying though, it is useless and does nothing. Dreaming always feels better and what will happen, well, at least you dreamt the right dreams, yes?
Ah... I always dream the right dreams... at least that's what I want to believe ;) If only they would come true... ;)
DeleteCielo
Cielo, the tears are flowing as I read your post today. We are in the process of getting my "dream house" that we have lived in for 21 years ready to sell. I have been so overwhelmed thinking and trying to get my thoughts organized on what I need to do to get started. We will be living in our 5th wheel for awhile, so a lot of things will go into storage, and the rest will go in an estate sale. How do you know what to keep and what to sell? How do you know what will work in the next house that you haven't even seen yet? I know you have been dealing with these same questions and emotions, so any thoughts you have would be appreciated. Thank you for your words today...I needed to hear them, and embrace them. Delaine
ReplyDeleteIt is hard... I'm still trying to convince myself that we did the right thing by moving here... still hoping still dreaming...
Deletecielo
Feliz Ano Nuevo Cielo. Although it doesn't seem so right now please believe it will get better. The adjustment to a new reality is hard for those of us that live in two worlds. You really have to believe in magic to get through the hard times. I tell myself this every day after being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer a little over a year ago. The 4 months of chemo were a harsh reality and a true test of my inner strength, but I would just not accept my life would not go back to the way it was. Well I made it back to what was, but I know there is no promise how long it will last. So I live every day and just don't think about it. I want to see as much beauty in people and places as I can, sort of like a squirrel saving up for the winter. You have the eye of an artist and the soul of a poet so make your new world exactly what you want it to be and don't settle for anything less.
ReplyDeleteTo you and all the lovely ladies who share at this magical place, the best of everything this coming year.
There is an Italian word, piacere, that means pleasure. I just loves the sound of that word....its what we should live for no matter where we find it.
Sherry
Sherry, thank you for sharing this with me; a little bit of your life, your own fears and hopes, and your own special light... I am touched and lifted up by your spirit and words... I truly thank you my friend...
DeleteUn abrazo muy especial para ti.
Cielo
What a darling FAT bird Cielo!!! Thank you for sharing!! ♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteI know... isn't he a darling!
DeleteThanks for stopping by
cielo
Happy new year. So sorry you are missing your old home so much. Don't give up on the snowy days, you may see some yet. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Renee I know I know... 17 degrees yesterday. I wasn't able to open my car doors (none of them) yesterday morning because of the ice... and it will be just 12 degrees on Monday... awh! ;)
DeleteCielo
Oh but you didn't notice the figures in the photo with the frosty Chandelier in the middle of the photo there's a woodland nymph and in the top left of the same photo a masked bear? Did you not see?
ReplyDeleteAhhhh.... how I love love comments like this! And I do I do... I do see it now! And how could I have not noticed it before? Yes yes, the white cloud-like-an apparition; the blurry form of a fairy; a white nymph... the nymphs who live in the woods?... the Virgin Mary? And ohhhh on the far back the shadow of a bear and perhaps some divine spirits who animate Nature? Do you see it too? Do you?
DeleteOh thank you, thank you for pointing this out to me... how special!
Love and more magic....
Cielo
Dear Cielo,
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having good dreams and stories around your tree in your courtyard. I have an Ancient Apple tree in my courtyard. It is here that people gather when they come to my garden in the summer. It is here where birds and racoons and squirrels and deer gather in the spring. My tree is surrounded by the rose they call "The Fairy Rose",...a floruiabunda , that is pastel pink and covered in cabbageroses the size that fairies would appreciate. My garden was borne out of love and it is this reason that I fell in love with your blog. I could tell that you had a love for nature and God's creations,.. flowers,.. birds ,.. nature,..life,.. I hope I did not interrupt the flow of conversation by revealing my name to you. Many things have happened to me in life and I am guarded.
Kristi,...
birds and raccoons and squirrels and deer in the spring and butterflies and bumblebees in summer; doves and quails in the fall and in winter the winter fairies... I can see it all... lovely!
ReplyDeleteCielo
Oh sweet Cielo, I see you are missing your old magical place. But perhaps your new surroundings are waiting for the right gypsy girl to wake up its magical fairy forest from its deep sleep. I am sure you can.
ReplyDelete